For those who take it seriously, marriage is the single most important thing you will ever do. Those who will succeed are dedicated to faithfully serve in ways to expand the happiness of their partner and soul mate without any desire or expectation of getting anything in return.
What causes marriages to fail?
Marriages and other serious relationships fail because of a fundamental conflict of values or even more simply stated—selfishness. Please take a moment to think that if we treated each other (instead of ourselves) as being number one, what kind of a world it would be?
Selfish people approach relationships on the basis of what they think they are going to get, and when that isn’t the reality, it creates a breakdown in the relationship because someone is now unhappy.
A person who becomes unfaithful in their marriage is experiencing the “it’s all about me” syndrome and from there will begin to look for flaws, imperfections and shortcomings in their spouse to justify their wrongful act of cheating. Cheating on your spouse simply proves that you cannot be trusted and that your sacred vows hold no serious value.
If you marry for the purpose of getting rather than giving, you increase your chances of failure and will likely miss out on the opportunity to create a successful marriage. The correct reason to marry is because you want to faithfully serve your mate for the rest of your days while expecting nothing in return. If you marry one who feels and acts the same way for you, then you will indeed experience a successful marriage.
Here’s the simple formula for a successful marriage: There is no one more important than your spouse. If selfishness is your ulterior motive beneath the façade, then you will ultimately face the truth and realization that the laws of life that govern the Universe does not and will not support your marriage.
Getters vs. Givers
Traditionally it has been said that men marry for sex and women marry for security. This still means that someone has to give what the other wants in order to get. Therefore, the best way to get what you want is to give. If you marry because you are lovingly devoted to serving in ways to contribute to the happiness of your spouse without ulterior motive then you greatly solidify the chances of success.
Here’s the bottom line: How does this person make you feel? Do you reciprocate it? At the end of the day, what you will be left with is: How do we treat each other?
Mutual Trust & Mutual Respect
Mutual trust and mutual respect are the two legs required to establish the strongest foundation upon which a marriage can be built. The love we share loses value whenever there is the absence of trust and/or respect. Always choose encouragement over criticism whenever it comes to your spouse and you are guaranteed to love the results.
The natural tendency of our minds is to want more love, happiness and prosperity. Therefore, seek to find the best of ourselves within each other, and when this happens, we become whole—a perfect counterpart and perfect union.